Sunday, February 24, 2013

Just Can't Do This Again

Tonight my mom was taken to the hospital, again... This time it was due to some extended flu-like symptoms. For the last week, she has been sick in bed. Part of me is sitting here wondering why I'm still at home, but the other part is thinking I just can't do this again this quickly.

Having just gone through the loss of one mom, I can't even fathom the loss of another. Even if this isn't as serious as the spots on her X-ray indicate, it was serious enough to make them look. Somehow, I just don't have a good feeling about this at all.

Thinking back to the first time this happened, it was the same flu-like symptoms that led to the scans and visits to the doctors. That was so long ago, yet still so fresh in our minds. A bad period of time that we thought we had made it through. Still, we find ourselves facing this once again.

The doctors haven't said it. There is no confirmation yet. There is only that gut feeling that this isn't right. That something horrible is on the horizon. That all these doctors have missed the bigger problem over the last few months.

For now, I'll remember 3 and a half years ago, when my little girl came into the world and her Grammers was right there to meet her. I'll begin praying for help, healing and understanding. Especially the understanding most of all. I just don't know what or how to process this if it is the worst case scenario... I don't even know where to start with it...

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