The "C" Word

Yep, everyone thought this was going to be a foul language display like George Carlin or maybe Seinfeld. Sorry, it's not.  It's about a word we hear daily, yet a word we still don't understand. It's a word that brings tears from one, yet anger from another. It makes one person die and another live. The word is CANCER.

Cancer has hit my family too many times already. My mother has beat it off once, my other mother beat it off twice before this latest news that it didn't quite get beaten off completely. It simply isn't fair, it's not right and it really doesn't care what you think or do. Cancer sucks.

As I was standing there watching one of the strongest women I have ever met, sitting, getting her hair cut, I knew she was going to beat this again. I don't know why, but the sheer determination that she displayed made me think, I don't feel sadness - I feel determination. I felt her already saying, "Bring it!" Sure, there were tears, fears and other emotions, but the determined look was there. 

I know that this word brings with it the fear, tears and uncertainty. It should, but if there is anyone on the planet that will truly beat this off, time after time, it's Mom. She makes me think of the Times McGraw song and somehow it makes things ok. She is going to live like she was dying for a long, long time. She'll go skydiving, Rocky Mountain Climbing and more than likely spend more than 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.

She is going to beat this off with a riding crop and sheer determination. She is going to be around to walk sweet Evalyn to her first day of school. She will be around to see Evie ride in her first fair and even her high school graduation. She'll be there and I want her to know we will make her be there for it. 

Crazy Windy Sunday

Sometimes it takes a crazy day like today to make bus appreciate the simpler days. Today the weather changed every 5 minutes. The rain came and went. The sun did the same.

The weather today was much like my life has felt in the last few weeks, crazy and ever changing. I think the biggest change was in the last 48 hours. I came to the realization that nothing is ever perfect and that a church is not excluded from that thought.

It took a special event called the LIFE Conference for me to appreciate how much a church is driven by the vision of the people that attend, rather than the Pastor and Elders. Perhaps I can be one that joins that less than perfect church and helps it become a bit closer to perfect for some. If not, at least I can try to influence the leaders to preach the message of salvation, repentance and love... Instead of the giving, doing and love that I've heard in the past.

So, when the wind starts blowing hard enough to knock over your signs, remember to ask yourself if you need someone to hold your ladder when you fix those signs.

Starbucks...

I used to love my Starbucks in the morning. The funny thing is, since we moved to Monroe, Starbucks really messes with my system. Plus, the Starbucks here doesn't seem to know how to fill a cup.

The case in point was last night's coffee adventure. A quick stop through the drive-thru and a peek at the cup when we got home. The order was simple - one venti non-fat cinnamon dolce latte with whip - and what I got was a venti that was only filled about 3/4 of the way.

I was irritated, but just didn't care enough to do anything with it. Ara obviously felt a bit stronger about it as she called the store and complained. The store offered to make a freebie for us the next time through, but I think I've just learned not to order from them anymore.

Congratulations Starbucks, your poor service at the SR522 and SR2 location has made me think that putting up with a bikini shack to get a full cup of coffee is better than getting poor service and a half cup from you. Thanks!

Just Feeling Different

My search for a new job has me feeling completely strange today. I was riding in to work, seeing the back to school crowds, buses, hugs and kisses, and just felt strange about it all. I don't know why, or what made this day so different.

Perhaps it was the fact I had to schedule my own interview for Friday. Perhaps it's the feeling of going to work for someone that isn't as qualified as I am to do their job. Maybe it's even just those 'new job jitters' that I haven't had to deal with in 6 years.

I guess I'm half excited to see if this career change is something we can do. If it is, I'm sure looking forward to it. If the money just isn't there though, I'm just not sure I can take the risk.

By for now, I'll keep my distorted view of reality and keep on keepin on...

Job Interviews

Today I had my first serious job interview in 12 years. It was a strange experience to interview with people that were in all honesty, not as qualified as I was to do their job. Since it was a job in would truly love to have, I'm hoping it all went OK.

The job would be a sales position with Sprint in their Everett store. I feel that I want to be in the wireless industry, either in a sales or support role. This would definitely get me into that role and hopefully lead to more career opportunities later.

We will see how this plays out.

Fighting Off The Angries...

Today is not a good day for me. I had a great opportunity last night to grab a major deal on something I wanted, but I hmmm'd and hawwww'd a few minutes too long instead of just doing it right off the bat. That led to an annoying morning of trying to find the deal again... To no avail...

Then we start the rest of the day and it got worse... One simple comment, one little line, has pushed me to the point of feeling angry. I don't get angry often, or safe to say, ever, but this really has me irritated beyond belief.

I really try to provide for my family first, putting off the things I want and 'need' to the last. Last night however, I was ready to do something for me. It was about the cost of dinner and a movie or a long drive with a nice lunch, but it wasn't ok... It would have been wrong...

I think I'll take a few days to get over this, maybe longer, I don't know. All I know is that little comment this morning has me worked up with nobody to say a word about it to.

Oh well, maybe next time...

I Love Tech Blogs, But...

This is ridiculous. The blogs are doing nothing but reporting off another story that another blog just ran. Yesterday, Precentral (great blog about the HP WebOS devices) ran a quick blurb about how TouchPad sales were soft. Today, the big three all ran the same article, but citing Precentral as the source.

This isn't journalism, it's borderline plagiarism. Sure, you tweak the article a bit, change the image, plop a new headline on it, but ultimately, it's still the same story and unofficial at that.

Get back out there and get back in the game. I'll call you out on this one now BGR, Engadget and PhoneArena. I used to love visiting, but when I read news that happened yesterday, it makes it hard to trust your sources.

A New Start...

Today has way more meaning than one little blog article. Today begins my new start. New diet, new outlook and most of all, new direction. For awhile now, I've been looking for a new gig, and I think I'm close to finding one. I'm not sure where to be exact, but it's a good start.

I'm currently trying the impossible, to find a job in a retail field selling and servicing products that I love. If that happens to fall in place, it would be amazing. The great part is that it's closer than I might think.

It will create some issues, like transportation, but we will figure all of that out in time. For now, let's all kick back and enjoy the ride.

As for the new diet, I'm inching closer to my pre-STP weight so soda is gone again. Also off the list this week will be sugary snacks. Last night was my last hurrah with my Recees Fastbreak bar... You will be missed old friend... My goal is to head back to 250 and then worry about the next drop.

Finally, it's time for a better outlook. Turning away from the crap and smiling. Getting back to the things I love and not worrying about the rest. Hopefully, the new plan comes together quickly and things fit in to place soon. I have a life that I am more than ready to live today...

Doogie Howser Syndrome?

Here I am again this morning thinking of what direction to take this. I don't know if I am trying to make this a story of how life "is" from my phone or if it's a history of my life as told by my phone - like Doogie's journal... It's a tough choice to make.

Today, I'm going to keep going on the "is" and see how well it works for me.

Yesterday I had my first phone interview in 6 years. The last was my phone interview with Wal-Mart. That one turned out well enough, but this one was different. It was a fantastic interview and they were ready to snag me up immediately. My problem... It wasn't the job I wanted.
I wanted to step into a store in a management roll. I wanted to have the security and benefits of a manager. Unfortunately, the only opening they had at the store I wanted was sales. No guarantees, just sales...

If it was 5 years ago, or we were still a dual income no kid family, it would be OK. Today, I have to stop for way too long and see what's the short term damage and what are the realistic benefits for the future.

I know I can easily be a top sales person. Especially a top salesman with a company and product that I believe in. The only issue that remains would be if our family could afford it...

Funny... True, but funny...

I heard the funniest thing yesterday... The true measure of a great parent is making sure your little one has it better than you do... Not necessarily better than you did, but do.

This really made a lot of sense to me. I mean, when we were younger and single, we had it pretty well. Just a few monthly bills, low rent apartments and nice cars. Once that baby comes along, priorities change quickly.

It's okay to wear something less than perfect to work. A t-shirt with a stain doesn't become a tag instantly. And let us not forget that we struggle to buy ourselves the little things but have no problem dropping a $20 on another stuffy for the kiddo.

Don't get me wrong, this is a good thing. It's just how funny we become when our kids get involved. We forget about ourselves completely and only worry if our kids have the right stuff, or enough stuff would probably be the better way to put it.

It really isn't about spoiling the little guys and gals, it's just about making sure they have it better than we do.

Another Year Older

I don't know why I have so much trouble writing on here everyday. This device is in the palm of my hand pretty often, so I don't have much of an excuse. I think the only reason I can come up with is the complete lack of anything useful to say. I don't know that today is any different but it's my birthday so humor me.

I am going to make an effort this year to blog about life a bit more. When you see first hand the craziness of the world - check out the BBC website or the image a friend took for everyone to see if you don't know what I'm talking about - you realize that we don't always know when our time will be up. I want to make sure that my story gets told, and there's no better way to do it than one story at a time.

Most of these won't have photos, great back stories or much relevance on life today, but 36 years is a long time and a lot of experiences to share. Maybe tomorrow will be the day I start something new. Maybe tomorrow I'll start something old? Nobody knows for sure, but I know tomorrow can be the best day of my life or it maybe it will just be another day.

There's only one way to find out. I guess in my own backwards logical way, I'm begging everyone to make the most of today. Make today count people. There is always a tomorrow, at least for most of us, but there is only one today.

So, for my Birthday wish, get out and start something today. It could be something big or something small. Get it started and keep working at it until you finish. No more thinking about it, no more using tomorrow as an excuse. Grab the passion from your heart, insert it in your brain and do it.

It's pretty simple... Now go do it...

Trying to Be Excited

It's strange right now. Nothing seems to be interesting to me, besides family of course. I don't mean like people wise, but stuff wise. I used to stalk the blogs for the latest gadgets, watch the stores for the next thing I needed to get or even just cut a photo or two out and stick it to the fridge as a reminder of what I wanted. Lately, nothing has held my interest.

Cycling did, and I guess still does to an extent, but not like before the STP. Sure I have a few wants, a nicer helmet, better winter wear, maybe even a commuter bike to ease the mileage on my good bike, but there is just no spark to get anything.

I look around and I just see a rut. It's not that I am not getting bored, I just have no desire to do anything different. I'm looking at job options for the future, to provide a better life for my family. I'm looking at ways we can trim even more off our budget just to save a few more here and there. I just don't know what toys I want or when I want to start collecting them again.

Maybe this will pass, maybe it won't. Perhaps my priorities have just changed. Maybe that Xbox isn't at the top of any list anymore. Maybe I don't want a new phone every 6 months..? I don't know, but for now I need to be content and just relax until I find what I want to do next...

What a Weird Weather Month

Today was one of the stranger weather days that I remember around here. It started off wet, then dried out, then got really wet, and finally dried again. It wasn't all that strange if it were, say, May or October, but it's the end of July.

This has been one very strange summer, if you want to call it that. The rest of the country is in the middle of a monstrous heat wave with temperatures reaching into the hundreds all over the south and easy. They might be taking summer a bit too far, but at least they are having one.

Venturing back to our neck of the woods and our terrible weather, we have to be grateful that we don't have the deadly heat, torrential rain fall, or other oddities that the south and east do now. So, for today I will be happy and content with what we are dealt and enjoy the rest of our summer with the wife and baby.